Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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