He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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