Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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