Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
