tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
