Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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