I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
