He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
