He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
