It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
