Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
