I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
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