I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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