Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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