You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
