I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
