Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Randomize
