I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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