More tranny stories later!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
