You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
