I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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