I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
