I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
