There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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