Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
