Pants 0. Shit 1.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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