i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
