You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i out mim tonsoeep
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
