i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
