meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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