Small penises have feelings too.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
