So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
