the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
