So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
