I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
