OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
