you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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