i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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