It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He has the fingertips of a God
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
