pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize