After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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