this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
