I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
