idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We had sex on a dog bed..
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize