Pappa wants mamma naked
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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