she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize
