My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
