i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize