I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
