so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
