Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
