Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
