My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
