Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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