We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
