Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
