God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
