i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I know her cup size but not her name....
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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