i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
