I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
