good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
