whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
