No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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