i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
