I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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