Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize