I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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