let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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