I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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