fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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