Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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