I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
