WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
